Going on to 3 weeks. What now?

My last blog post was a bit "too" emotional.

Yeah, sensing the irony there?

 Believe me or not I have read and re-read my

"I Need a Weak Week" blogpost for over

50 times. 

I really love reading the first part

to help me realize how stupid I was before.

Stupid in a sense that "I really did that?"

But I've got no regrets.

I just categorized myself as being STUPID.

Just plain STUPID.

But well, being like that doesn't really hurt.

At least I get to experience it once in my life

and that was just recently so it was still FRESH.

Oh well.. let me explain to you what had happened on my last 2 weeks 
which I have to undergo.

The first week was like hell.

All of the memories we've shared kept on flashing back.

All the text messages.

All the topics we have talked about.

All my replies.
All the kilig factor. ♥
Yup, I was kinda surprised I still remember them all.

I know myself.. 
I have this "short term memory" thing.

My Mom even hates me for being forgetful

But for this case, all things kept on flashing back.

Like it was one of the sweetest dreams

which turns out to be a nightmare in the end.

Bittersweet, I must say.
And bitter na kung bitter.
Being bitter makes me feel fine PERIOD

Going back.

I remembered EVERYTHING.

All the fake promises

All the fun talks

All the corny jokes

As in everything.

Pesky salty droplets kept on falling down from my eyes.

Just like what I've told my friend

"Walang pinipiling oras, kusang tumutulo"

Minutes before going to bed was the worst part of my day.

Yung tipong matutulog ka na nga, you need silence, then here are the memories again.

You don't want them to come back.. 
but then again you start to reflect and think things over

so flashbacks were there again.

I really hoped they were flushed right down the toilet during those nights.

I just don't want to remember then any longer.

My mind said STOP

but my heart said GO ON seems to enjoy it, even though it doesn't really like it.

During those "desperate" moments.

I need my friends.

So ayun, umaalis ako every other day.

Halos lahat na yata ng malls napuntahan ko.

Every friend group ko nakasama ko na.

I just want to be with their company.

I wanted my mind to drift away from those "flashing" memories.

At least when I get home, I'm just too plain tired to think over such silly stuffs.

Well, it worked.

I consider it as my moving-on part.

And my letting-go part, I suppose.

My 2nd week is much easier for me.

No more pesky salty water droplets.

But flashbacks were still there.

The only thing added to it is that I am now able to smile when I think about them.

Sometimes, I even ask myself:

"Talaga? Ginawa ko yun?"

But then again, let me clear myself

I did didn't regret any of those.

In fact, I did didn't regret meeting him.

Because I became stronger. 
I learned a lot. 

Maybe one of my closest college friend was right.

"He is just soo out of my league."

And maybe one of my closest highschool friend was also right

"Sometimes, rushing things has its disadvantage.

Yung tipong mauumpog ka nalang sa bato, then you'll realize na

Wait lang, hindi yata to gusto ko. I'm not yet ready for this."

But still

shoot me in the forehead NOW!

Because I'm still viewing his FB profile.

I'm still browsing his pictures.

Stupid. 
I love hate being stupid. Bow. 

Now, going on to 3 weeks, what to do now?

Honestly, I'm starting to realize lots of things.

Though I'm not yet really sure about it.

I'm starting to realize that maybe

I'm just too overwhelmed with his company before.

That being on a new environment, I was too eager to find a friend and meeting him

is just exactly how I didn't plan it to be.

I didn't see him coming.

And I didn't expected all those things to happen sooo fast.

Its like a whirlwind.

Gone too soon.

Sometimes I ask myself

maybe if I took things a bit slow

maybe we still talk to each other up to this date.

Maybe friendship would not be ruined.

Maybe we are still friends.

Maybe both of us won't get hurt.

Not in a way we are NOW.
COLD SILENCE.

Well, I guess everything happens for a reason.

God must have something more special in stored for the both of us.

It may not be for the both of us "together"

but maybe for our own separate lives.

I'm not really closing my doors because I still don't know what would happen in the next upcoming weeks.

All I know is that on my 3rd week, I have to start enjoying my days.

Life is good. Enjoy life.

And I think, its really time to find a JOB.

My DREAM JOB.