Gray area of life

Last 2 weeks was like "reminiscing the past" weeks.
I've encountered guys who have been a part of my life in one way or another.
I won't drop names or anything.
Everything's in gray area.


FIRST:
Because one of my friends is in "dire need" (let's term it in a dramatic way :p) to be friends with this particualr person. Let's just say that this person is an inspiration to my friend for like 5 tears already. Though there are times that it is being forgotten, the feeling still lingers on. Why, thank you to "Water for Elephants" movie, some things that were like patches before are somewhat clearing up.


A day after we've been talking about this guy, I saw him naman sa mall. Like it's somewhat a destiny to be seeing him again after, what.. a year or two? Now, the problem lies on me because our friendship ended up not in a way that we wanted it to be. I was too childish that time, and he's not yet that mature so not one of us is serious. It's like everything's just like a game, something like a beneficial game. And as young as I was way back, I don't like that.. so better cut anything that's been there and is waiting to bloom, whatsoever.


I don't really have plans to start any conversation with him, but my Mom told me that maybe it's time to let go of all the "childish hurt feelings" i have so that everything's will go on smoothly, on both parts. Saying hi, hello or just a simple smile for me is enough. After 5 years, everything's gone. It is time to finally move on. 


Unluckily, this friend of mine I've been talking about during the early part of my FIRST story texted this guy (which I gave not knowing that he still got the same number after 5 years. LIKE AFTER ALL THIS YEARS?), ended up not too well due to unavoidable circumstances and unforeseen events. So what can I do... I don't want my friend to feel that way so I did text him, explaining all the stuffs that had happened, that my friend is not that snobbish and other apologies that are not that "kawawa" naman. I did inform him that I gave his number and that I hope it's okay with him and other blah blahs.


So this, NO REPLIES AFTER A WEEK.


Okay, I'm not expecting anything. If he received that message, well good for him and for my friend. At least everythings been clear now. If he doesn't reply, fine. If he did one day, fine too. I'm not that childy girl who gets sad or mad if my text message doesn't get replied. I don't need any Winnie the Pooh this time to comfort me or for us to be friends again. Let's put it the normal way. If  we just part to meet again, that would be great for the both of us.


And wait, Im having doubts if he did got married na. He is of age, like 5 years of so ang age gap. Good for him. Not good for my friend though. :) But all this years, you still look cute. GUILTY!


SECOND:
Just last year I met this guy from my previous work. I do have some blog posts about him here. I can't dare to read any of them. Maybe because I was too dumb that time. But everything's real and genuine, including how I felt. Maybe I trusted him that fast. Maybe I was dumb. DUMB. period.


Maybe a month ago, he texted me. The usual, "musta na", "ano na balita sayo.".
I actually did got irritated.
If my first story, we didn't end things well.
This one, no closure at all. As if he hanged me somewhere then I died, was renewed, reborn and started a new life without even looking back at the old May-June 2010 things.
Then come at the start of May 2011, I just woke up and realized that I was thinking about him, about the things that had happened, happiness, foolishness and regrets. It was bitter. 
And then comes the day that he texted me.
And I was not happy at all. Wasn't really answering all his questions that well, and even asked my bestfriend to answer for me.
And then comes the time that he added me on facebook.
I was hesitant at first because I for myself DELETED him on my list.
Because I am afraid that I might browse his FB once in a while. (which is what I am doing now. But not once in a while.. **controls myself**)


Sabi nga ng friend ko: Kung babalik sya, sana dati pa!


Maybe if he came back last year, things will be a bit different.
Now, EVERYTHING's DIFFERENT, FADED and FORGOTTEN.
I suggest that this guy come back after 5 years, maybe I'll be able to accept him pa as a friend that easily. Parang yung sa First story ko lang. :)




haaaay, LIFE.
Life, why are you like this.
Why is it that everything's been going too complicated right now.
I can't hardly cope up with what's happening. It's been like UP and DOWN ever since. :(